Having said that, I am a big believer in the power of daily routines and rituals in keeping a person in a submissive state of mind. For me personally certain sexual acts, make me feel more submissive and fulfilled. If you feel that there are other ways for you to “remain in the submissive zone” then you should practice them diligently, even if “pee play” is not one of them.
Also remember, that I am a slave, not a submissive. I have joyously decided that I want Swami to control all aspects of my life. I don’t want to be “free” intellectually. I want to be free of my ego by becoming totally enslaved. Now that I have tasted “slavery”, submissiveness just doesn’t appeal to me as much. I personally get deeper satisfaction from slavery than being a submissive. I understand each woman is different, so this may not work for you
Now as a slave, I want to feel like one 24×7. I want to feel totally possessed. I want my mind to “know completely” that I am my Swami’s property. One of the ways, I am able to remain in that “blissful slave zone” is by practicing some rituals.
For me personally, drinking Swami’s pee and swallowing his cum is a very important one. Part of the reason is these are kind of taboo. So by engaging in them, I get a thrill. Here is what is going thru my head when Swami pees on my face or in my mouth
| Show me I am your property My Lord, by using me like one. Only that will satisfy me |
Wow. I am kneeling before a man, and letting him urinate in my mouth and on my face. Most humans are disgusted by another’s pee, but I am swallowing it!! My Swami would never pee on somebody else, because that would be considered disrespectful, yet he doesn’t hesitate to pee on me. That must mean that in his eyes, this is a appropriate act to perform on me. In my Swami’s mind, he has accepted that I am his property, where he doesn’t really have to think about “respect” or “disrespect”. He knows a property doesn’t have such feelings, just like the toilet bowl doesn’t feel “disrespected” because we use it. His act of peeing in my mouth is his way of assuring me that I should feel secure that I am truly his slave. I imagine him saying the following to me as he pees, “See Daasi, now you can stop worrying and truly believe that you are my slave. I am peeing in your mouth and expecting you to swallow it. By treating you as my toilet bowl, I am indeed loudly proclaiming you as my property. I am freeing you from the prison of delusional self-respect. You don’t have any, because you are my property” Instead of just telling me, he is showing me.
You see, I crave to do insanely humiliating things for him, because every act, reinforces the one thing I crave more than anything in this world. To be “owned” by my God. I don’t want to be his equal, or his wife, or his friend. I want to go beyond all that. I want to be “his”. I want to completely lose my identity in him. I want to merge with him. I don’t want to be a “Daasi” separate from her “Swami”. I am so deeply in love that I want to feel him at a level that I can’t by remaining distinct from him. That is why I don’t want him to think of me as a person with feelings, respect, rights, etc. I want to become an extension of him in every way.
So for me acting as my Swami’s toilet bowl is a deeply spiritual act that reinforces and preserves my slave status. It may not be for you, but I strongly urge you to find some act that both you and your Dominant agree firmly establishes that relationship between the both of you. That can be your secret handshake to show your Dom, that you are his obedient and humble submissive.
And the past week, I have been tearing up a lot. Why?
Because I am listening and seeing the Pope on television. Yes, I am not a Christian, but when I see him I can very strongly feel deep inside me, how he must feel inside and knowing that another person must feel just like you do is a very strong emotional force.
Let me explain
Here is my top ten reasons for why I feel so connected to the Pope
Because of the above reasons, I feel a strange connection to the Pope, even though our lives are so different. I often find my eyes filling up with tears, when I just see him on television. Its the joy of seeing another slave and knowing exactly how he must feel inside.
On Thursday as Swami and I watched the Pope deliver his joint session to Congress, I wept openly. I was so moved. Swami just held me, letting me deal with my emotions. We also listened to the newscaster talk about all the “rituals” that are important to Catholics. I particularly felt drawn towards one of them. Baptism.
I wanted to be baptized.
No, not as a Christian, but as my Swami’s slave. I told Swami my idea and how exactly I wanted it done. At first he laughed. Then he realized I was serious. We talked about it some more and he finally agreed to grant me my wish.
Swami was off Friday, so it made the task a lot easier. From Thursday night onward, Swami did not pee in the toilet. He drank a lot of water and peed in a bucket several times a day.
Then yesterday night I had my unique slave baptism. At first, we thought of using the bath tub, but I thought the toilet bowl would be more symbolic of my slave status and more humbling, so I requested we do the ceremony over the toilet bowl. Swami agreed, so I positioned myself like the woman shown in video below. Then Swami poured the pee that was accumulated in the bucket since Thursday night, on my upturned face. I could sense his love and tenderness because he did it slowly so that I could enjoy every moment and yet not be overwhelmed by the amount. I felt great joy as he marked me as his property. I opened my mouth and swallowed as much as I could. Even though he was careful as he poured, some of his pee ran into my nose and a couple of times, we had to stop so that I could regain my breath. I know this must sound strange, but oh my God, his pee tasted simply delicious. After I had drunk copious amounts and my face was absolutely drenched, the bucket was finally empty. I straightened up, slightly disappointed that it had not lasted a bit longer, but very grateful nonetheless. I kissed his feet and overcome by emotion repeated the following several times.
You are my only temple, You are my only devotion You are my only God. I am but a tiny clay doll
You are that doll’s life and soul.
I truly felt as if some holy spirit had descended over me. I wrung the pee off my long hair and smeared it all over my body as if it was a magical skin conditioner. I felt totally transformed. To end my slave baptism I gave him a worshipful blow job and gulped down his cum. I then took Swami’s permission to sleep in our bathroom floor yesterday night because I really did not want to wash his pee off. I wanted to feel it on myself all night long. Throughout the night, I felt bathed in his love as his pee dried on me and would smile to myself in the dark.
Today morning, I finally took a shower to wash it all off, but I did feel a certain sense of loss as the water and body wash removed my Swami’s nectar from my body. I hope unlike a Christian baptism, I will be having many more of my slave baptisms. It is truly a spiritually transformative experience
I may not blog for a while. Want to focus on Swami’s beautiful gift growing inside me!
Please wish us luck!
I took time to doll myself up. Then I presented myself to my Lord. I took a small twirl and let his eyes feast on me. He studied me quietly for while.
“Do I look pretty Swami?” I asked shyly.
I knew I had his attention, since he had stopped reading the “Economist”.
“Put your pallu down” He commanded quietly.
I immediately unpinned the pallu from my blouse and let it fall and lowered my eyes. A smile broke his lips as he took in my halter neck sleeveless blouse.
“Raise your hands over your head” he continued.
I did as I was told. I was sure he was studying my armpits. I was glad they were completely hairless and smooth.
He rose and ran his fingers gently over both my armpits. He pinched and pulled them as if he was searching for a stray hair. His fingers found none.
“Perfect” he said. “Come”
He took me by my hand and led me to our bedroom. He stripped naked, got on the bed and motioned to his anus with his fingers.
“Start licking” he said softly.
I smiled and said “Would be my pleasure Swami”.
I find anal rimming specially erotic for me as a slave. It is such a subservient act, it fills me with immense pleasure to engage in it.
It fulfills my five rules that make a sexual act specially enticing for me
| Soul food for a slave like me |
| There is nothing better tasting than a Master’s cum!! |
